Warpaint

what do you do when you fancy taking pictures of something, but have no idea what of. You’ve been to that old part of town with the old buildings and the old people, and you’ve realized it’s pretty chilly and you can’t think of anything new to take pictures of. You’ve been to that new part of town, you’ve taken pictures of the new buildings and the new people, and you’ve realized it’s pretty chilly there too.

You pick up the box, you give it a shake. You can’t hear anything in the box. You open the box. Inside is Gwyneth Paltrows head. Just kidding. Have we all seen the movie Seven? Did we all get that reference? Good, let’s move on. You open the box, the box is empty. It’s time to look for answers outside of the box. See what I did there? Me neither.

As pleasant as it is to wonder around your city taking pictures, it can all seem a bit too familiar if you don’t venture off of the path. But life isn’t a rom-com, if you venture off the main road in most cities you won’t meet the love of your life. You’ll get shanked. So we decided to chuck paint on our face to see if that looked cool.

Now a sales assistant in B&Q might try to convince you that you need some form of light bulb in order to get light. Turns out there’s this big ball of hydrogen burning out of control in the sky, and if you go outside your house it gives you light for free! With this little known knowledge now in our possession, we headed into the garden to use this free illumination to get the best photos. steve

With the smell of dog shit burning hot in our nostrils, we began to apply our warpaint.steve2

The free light trick really did the…trick. However, for a large ball of fire this ‘sun’ thing I’ve heard so much about did a pretty bad job of keeping us warm. With our tails between our legs (insert willy joke here) we headed back inside where it was warm, and turned on a light bulb.

steveoIt would be around this time that real photographers would pull out some kind of backdrop and set up some studio lighting. It was at this time that Me, Rhys, and Steve emptied my floordrobe onto my bed, draped my large green rug over the wardrobe and then detached the light shade from the ceiling and stuck a torch in it.  rhys1

We had now arrived at that time of day when three grown men would put paint on each others faces until it went in our eyes or looked like we’d just given Ronald MacDonald and angry handy j. In the end we hit the jackpot and both of those things happened.
rhys2

steve3rhys4steve4rhys5steve6steve5rhys6coverAfter successfully re-decorating my floors, we headed to the bathroom to re-decorate the bath. Once we had done that we headed out for some chicken and a wonder to Racton Ruins to tie a nice bow around the day.steva

So just remember, when you can’t think of plans wild enough, you’re never to old to act like a child. Throw on your warpaint and fight for your freedom against adulthood, because that’s one giant trap that you don’t see coming.

Happy angry handy j’s

Volaticus.

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