End As You Mean To Go On

Two years ago I climbed a mountain with a couple of new friends. I took a car, a camera, and few essentials needed to spend New Years on top of a mountain. The experience was unlike anything I had done before. Both impressive and utterly hilarious.

That trip and the memories I never wanted to loose inspired me to start this blog, and two years on it’s time to hear about Tony and Steve’s third annual New Years adventure.

Steve had dragged me up a mountain and given me PTSD. I had dragged Steve with a broken leg to watch me surf in a bitterly cold ocean. The first two trips had been tremendous successes, so the question lingered, who was going to piss off who by dragging them somewhere they’d one day look back on fondly.

As usual we had done a bit of a bad job of planning, so at the last minute decided to return to Dartmoor. We had been there about two years before so that Steve could watch me watch him climbing, and that trip had been a great success. As Steve was now well on the mend from his broken ankle, it seemed a good time to get him back on the rocks after a long dry spell.

We woke up late and carefully packed the car, making sure we had everything we needed. So naturally when we drove ten minutes to a supermarket we had to stock up on a few basics like mugs and cutlery.

Once we had the tools to eat food we drove a few hundred miles to stand on some rocks. Adventure.

We arrived just as everyone else was heading home, which seems to be a recurring theme for us. Eager to make the most of what little light there was left, we headed to the rocks of Dartmoor and Steve began climbing.

I’m not one for unnecessarily climbing. Unless I’ve run out of money this month and have to climb up to the back of the kitchen cupboard to retrieve some 10p noodles I brought eight years ago I really don’t see the point.

Luckily Steve does see the point so he totally got to have fun for a while.

Once Steve was all climbed out and I was sufficiently bored of standing in the cold filming him, we drove to a car park to set up camp in the back of my car.

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This is where we realised our cock ups may not have been so singular.

Whilst pumping up the air bed we realised it didn’t really fit in the car. While trying to light our cooker we realised we didn’t have any way of lighting our cooker. While getting our sleeping bags out we realised Tony forgot his sleeping bag and would have to drive to Tesco to buy matches and a duvet. While sorting out the car to drive to Tesco we found a lighter.

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Needles to say mad bants filled the air.

So we drove to Tesco at about seven o’clock on New Years and to our amazement it was open. We stocked up on a few more essentials, then headed back to our little car park and prepared to climb a big rock to celebrate New Years. More Adventure.

Now I love a pointless walk as much as the next person. But crawling up a big wet rock in the cold and the rain to watch a few fireworks in the distance really made me question how good me and Steve are at this whole life thing. And to top it all off we arrived at the top early, something I’m not fond of doing at the best of times, but even more so when it means sitting in cold wind and rain to watch people set off fireworks effectively ruining my year round attempt to reduce my carbon footprint.

New Years arrived, and my attempts to think of something meaningful about the dawning of a new year were totally ruined by me trying to figure out where my face had gone as I could no longer feel it.

We collected ourselves and climbed back down the big rock. Well Steve did. I kind of crawled my way down like a crab with his foot stuck in a bear trap. Even the promises of large crowds with Prosecco couldn’t excite me.

One thing that did cheer us up was getting back to my car and spending the night chatting to a horse with a shitting mouth and a fox that was OK hanging out with a horse with a shitty mouth.

We tried our best to sleep for the rest of the night. I don’t think I did at all as I woke up the next morning 86 percent sure I was actually dead.

never the less, we got home with a little voice in our heads telling us we had done well to end one year and start another in such a rough and adventurous style. Unfortunately that voice was hard to hear over the louder voice reminding us there was a nice warm fire in our living room and we totally could have just stayed in.

But we’re not about good decisions.

Hope you had fun reading about our New Years in March.

Tune in next time to hear about or holiday on the Titanic.

Volaticus.

P.S. for a little video of Steve chatting about our trip, find us on youtube or follow this link;

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